idiots year in review

2024 through a morons twitter likes

JANUARY

I encounter the first tweet that embeds itself in my brain, I hear it daily.

Discourse: should people be allowed to buy accessories for their water bottles?

#never4get

Paul Giamatti takes his Golden Globe to In-and-Out

MEME: Josh

NYT weighs in

Joshuary

“Why yams”

Monika correct about eye patches being “back”

Greta Gerwig and Margot Robbie don’t get Oscars; people including Hillary Clinton are upset

MEME: Me at 1 day pregnant

FEBRUARY

Taylor announces TTPD

Grammys: Joni performs and we all fall apart, it seemed like Taylor dissed Celine, everyone was mad that Taylor brought Lana onstage bc they thought it was mean but it was bc she was on the same record, afterward Taylor hugged Ceilne to negate diss rumors, Tracy chapman and Luke combs fast car performance

Emily publishes maybe my favorite essay of the year? People are predictably weird but she as usual prevails

Liz Lenz tries to make it about herself

Financial advice columnist got scammed for $50k, everyone dunks, young people vindicated for never answering the phone 

Mr. piss rounds it out

Flaco dies :( 

MARCH

Kate Middleton photoshop drops, WATERKATE begins

I wrote about it

It was cancer :/

The Cut strikes again

I wrote about this also

Alex and I talk Worry for Interview Mag :)

Beyonce Jolene cover does not live up to hype

MEME: seems insane that DFW looked like this

APRIL 

People fight about whether Connections is too hard 

Media party discourse?

NYC earthquake! I was in my elevator so I didn’t feel it.

Eclipse

The Renata Adler of Looking at Your Phone a Lot (apparently same day as the eclipse … wild)

OJ Simpson DIES (after I’d been obsessed with him for months … my mind), also wrote about it 

TTPD drops

The simulation starts to glitch

DIRT asks: What is the ideal level of fame?

MAY

MEME: two people who match each others’ freak

Enter: Jack Schlossberg

Ben and J.Lo breakup redux?

Another tweet I hear in my head daily — I don't think the original was actually this year but idc idc

Trump convicted of … something

JUNE

GQ 1995 overrated list resurfaces

Fresh string of Big is moving … posts

We discovered “Let Jax do the peeling”

The people discover Hot Ed Ricketts

THIS IS GOING TO RUIN THE TOUR….THE WORLD TOUR…

Boy Smells releases Poppers candle (I own it)

I write about AB as meme for NYT :) 

Some memes for reference

Joe Biden very unwell at debate

Meanwhile in Schlossbergland…

Hawk tuah happened here I guess …

JULY

Brat summer (sorry … I know it started earlier …)

We become coconut-pilled, RIP

MEME: the inside out characters if it was filmed in my head

Jack Schlossberg becomes Vogue correspondent

George Clooney tells Biden to retire bitch

“President Putin of Ukraine”

Heavyweight group of super friends

Trump shot

Trump picks J.D. Vance

Pasta board in Milwaukee

Biden drops out while Wolf Blitzer is drinking

Something good happens: Olympics in Paris

Michelle writes about tarot for Dirt <3

AUGUST

Tim Walz selected … cry

Another one I hear in my head daily

I see one movie in the theaters this year, It Ends With Us. Did not know what was to come…

Daisy profiled in NYT <3

Men have called her crazy? Women have called her boring…

SEPTEMBER

Lana steps out w/ Mr. Crocodile

Ben and J.Lo metronome swings again

Olivia Nuzzi x RFK Jr affair reveal

OCTOBER

MEME: osama bin laden hiding place photoshops and/or found in the wild

Northern Lights for some … but not for me …

Talk Tuah podcast

I’m 17 and afraid of Sabrina Carpenter

A leftist on Love is Blind, condom-hating and all

Donald Trump unfortunately undefeated in photographs

JS still riffing

Nancy Pelosi drinks 7 drinks on airplane

Trump works at McDonald’s as a bit

Helen Mirren sad that Kurt Cobain never experienced GPS

MEME: I hate gay Halloween

MY PERSONAL FAVORITE MOMENT OF 2024: Tom Brady posts Landslide on the day Gisele announces pregnancy w/ boyfriend

Biden bites baby chicken (baby dressed as chicken)

NOVEMBER

Chappell Roan and John Mulaney SNL, she dresses as a lampshade. Kamala Harris also there.

Seltzer poll (RIP )

Election :/

Countess Luann in NYT crossword

Born to be your lover, forced to be your mother

Jake Paul v. Mike Tyson

Weird plane ride

Lookalike competition singularity

This man writes (badly) about Cormac McCarthy’s muse-relationship? Maybe pedophilic? At the very least gross? I don’t know I was busy 

Jay Leno “““falls down a hill””” but the internet says I THINK NOT … (another fave of mine)

Did Hugh Grant and the Countess make out?!

VPR cast fired for reboot with all new cast

J.D. Vance psycho photoshop

More news from Bens n’ Jens

DECEMBER 

Hunter pardoned 🙂

Perfume lady posts through it 

CEO assassinated

Prophetic

Deny / defend / depose

Babygirlification 

Luigi apprehended, Goodreads found

After longest press tour in history, WICKED releases

Upsetting Blake Lively / Justin Baldoni lawsuit

Luigi and lawyer matching fits

Boy Meets World mentioned

MEME: you’ll be visited by three spirits

And that’s a wrap! Goodbye to another stupid year. More TK from Idiots Continue in 2025!